Voice of Utah

Some headlines that caught our eye today:

Sign swiper gets 6 months in jail. Dennis McBride was convicted today in Grantsville Justice Court of stealing one of Mayor Byron Anderson's campaign signs, and was sentenced to 6 months in jail.

First thought: Good! Are there more serious crimes that draw shorter sentences? Yes. But there's something about stealing campaign signs that bugs us, one of us in particular. Maybe because people work so hard for so little during campaigns. Maybe because it's so unAmerican.

Second thought: Justice Court, huh? Hmm. Justices of the peace are not law-trained, let alone lawyers. For example, if Judge "William Pitts" mentioned in the Trib story is Tooele Justice Court Judge William E. Pitt, he basically has no legal education apart from Justice Court training. Always makes us wonder how much "due" there is in the "process"...

Conclusion: Good! If we have to keep on driving when we see a Chris Cannon yard sign, everyone else should have to, too.

Lawyer known for suing cops suspended by courts. Ogden lawyer Bruce Oliver is banned from Utah federal courts for a year for filing baseless lawsuits.

This is the culmination of a two-year conflict between Oliver and federal judge Paul Cassell, who became so (rightfully) annoyed with Oliver in 2005 that he took it upon himself to sift through all of Oliver's cases looking for missed deadlines, court rule violations, etc. Claiming bias, Oliver then tried to have Cassell removed from all of his cases, but the motion was denied. Guess he won't have to worry about that any more. Meanwhile, the Trib might not have realized just how correct its headline was: In addition to lawsuits filed on behalf of clients, in the '90s, Oliver personally sued Centerville, Farmington, and two police officers. One early morning, Oliver had triggered a silent alarm at an auto repair shop recently victimized by illegal oil dumping. When a Centerville officer responded, Oliver refused to identify himself and drove off with the officer in pursuit. Eventually boxed in by a second officer from Farmington, Oliver stopped, but again refused to identify himself, at which point he was introduced to Mr. Handcuffs. Oliver sued, claiming false arrest. In 2000, the Tenth Circuit threw out the case.

Conclusion: Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

And last but not least:

We usually stick to local subjects, but every once in a while a headline is too irresistible. This afternoon, FoxNews.com lobbed this softball: Minnesota to Take Pigeon Eggs From Nests to Avoid Poop at Republican National Convention. Um...removing all the birds' eggs in the world couldn't accomplish that goal.